Today is the day…

…to see if I’ve got any more follicles than I had on Wednesday.

I do love coming to the hospital in the morning. Especially now that the huge atrium is decorated for Christmas.

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I sat in the bloodwork room and folded myself in half to relieve the pressure on my left side and my low back. The other woman in the waiting room asked if I was ok and we chatted. It was so wonderful to break the silence and share experiences with a stranger, but an IVF sister.

… the ultrasound tech did not give me hope. I can’t believe my left ovary is producing the biggest follicle which cannot be fertilized unless it is surgically removed. My right ovary is the one that isn’t encumbered by endometriosis and it has full access to the clean Fallopian tube.

There is such a mystery to this process of life.

But beauty.

The giant manger scene shines above as I walk to the ultrasound office. The angel’s light illuminates her wings. I stood beneath the manger and spoke to Mary. Please Mother. Please.

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I knew this process would be difficult. I was hoping I’d be different. I was hoping for easy. What I wish though moreover is that this process does not age me in a way that makes me appear harried and haggered. I don’t want to carry a burden of infertility in lines on my face and grey hairs. Life will do that to me in its own time. Maybe this is vain. But it’s the truth in what I’m thinking right now.

4 thoughts on “Today is the day…

  1. I had the same thing happen to me – one lead follicle. That happens. I think you were over-suppressed with BCP (even though it was for two weeks) and did you also say Lupron? What were the results of the scan?

    If it is one lead follicle, could they convert it into an IUI or timed intercourse?

    I hope you had a wonderful holiday, hun.

    Never give up hope – be encouraged.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Have you considered Low Dose Naltrexone? Some theorize that endometriosis is an autoimmune condition. You may want to look into it. I’ve been on it for 3 months. My dose is 3 mg. Google Dr. Boyle of Ireland and he has some success stories for women who tried for years and they are finally pregnant and delivered. His theory is that women who are having a hard time getting pregnant have endorphin deficiency. LDN helps boost endorphin production.

    Liked by 1 person

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