Day 6 of shots yesterday. My nurse called to give me instructions for last night’s shots and tell me about my results of yesterday’s monitoring. I’ve got one 14mm follicle on the left and a few small ones. On the right, I have 5-10 follicles under 11mm. In order to go through with the egg retrieval and this cycle, I’ll have to show some additional follicles by tomorrow morning’s monitoring. Otherwise, the cycle will be canceled and/or we do insemination — which is totally a crap shoot because I’ve only got one tube that is attached to my uterus.
Talk about having zero control over outcomes. I’m feeling pretty powerless at the moment.
That could be a good thing. But what I need is for my mind to get on board with my body and not try to stir things up so much (making me think I’m a failure or resent doing this or worry I’ll never be a mom….)
getting that news last night already put me in failure mode … yet, that’s not beneficial.
What’s beneficial is to do reiki on my ovaries (check), to pray, to check in with my wise self and let her guide this ship and not my worrying mind, to be kind to my body, to keep stress down, to feel love — all parts of embodying positivity.
My father in law is always saying “think positive.” Sometimes my mind is just not capable of that. I need other intervention of my whole self — my mind is in defense mode.
I have nothing else to do right now to enhance the success of my follicles growing other than doing the shots and keeping my stress level down.
I am in the exact place I need to be right now.